Ecce Quam Bonum – “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” (Psalm 133). We who are Catholic priests pray that Psalm at least monthly. We profess and celebrate it in our ordination ritual. The lived reality is only possible if we allow ourselves continued maturing and healing in our affectivity and our capacity for relationships – both on an individual and a collective level.
Most people, I find (just like me) have an array of defenses to avoid looking truthfully at what is going on – because that requires actually feeling the insecurity and (even scarier) feeling our unmet longing for love. Mining the depths of our desire can feel especially dangerous. It’s so much easier to stay on the surface. That is a problem for us priests who have said “yes” to celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom! If we avoid the longings of our heart and the felt sensations in our nervous system and body, how can we be truly integrated? How can our self-gift be embodied, wholehearted, free, and fruitful?
Any detachment the Lord invites us to is always for the sake of secure attachment in rightly ordered relationships. Authentic detachment allows us to claim fully and flourish in our identity as beloved sons and daughters of God.
What is it like when we who are celibate priests become truly secure in our relationships? I’ve certainly been on a long and non-linear journey from insecurity into security. My path of healing over the last seven years has often left me feeling like Frodo in Lord of the Rings. […]