Ecce Quam Bonum – “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” (Psalm 133). We who are Catholic priests pray that Psalm at least monthly. We profess and celebrate it in our ordination ritual. The lived reality is only possible if we allow ourselves continued maturing and healing in our affectivity and our capacity for relationships – both on an individual and a collective level.
Most people, I find (just like me) have an array of defenses to avoid looking truthfully at what is going on – because that requires actually feeling the insecurity and (even scarier) feeling our unmet longing for love. Mining the depths of our desire can feel especially dangerous. It’s so much easier to stay on the surface. That is a problem for us priests who have said “yes” to celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom! If we avoid the longings of our heart and the felt sensations in our nervous system and body, how can we be truly integrated? How can our self-gift be embodied, wholehearted, free, and fruitful?
Any detachment the Lord invites us to is always for the sake of secure attachment in rightly ordered relationships. Authentic detachment allows us to claim fully and flourish in our identity as beloved sons and daughters of God.
What is it like when we who are celibate priests become truly secure in our relationships? I’ve certainly been on a long and non-linear journey from insecurity into security. My path of healing over the last seven years has often left me feeling like Frodo in Lord of the Rings. […]
Another Groundhog Day has come and gone. Normally in Wisconsin, February finds us pining for spring. In a more typical year, we would gladly welcome the prospect of only six more weeks of winter! This year, we’re wondering if the winter will ever come – even though most of us […]
Our God is indeed a playful Father who is full of surprises for his children, in whom he delights. Such was the case in all three of the “epiphany” stories: the visitation of the Magi, the Baptism of Jesus, and the wedding feast at Cana. In all three stories, God […]
The darkness will never turn back into night. The Day is at hand, and I get to be its herald.
I just took some time away at St. Vincent’s Abbey in Pennsylvania. Aside from opportunities for prayer and visiting friends, I had the unexpected surprise of finding myself in Mister Roger’s neighborhood. I had not realized that Latrobe was his hometown. I strolled down the hill from the basilica and […]
Presence and mindfulness garner much attention in the world of contemporary psychology and self-help. But they are rather important for Christian discipleship as well! The very virtues of faith, hope, and love are impossible without being present and mindful. They require receptivity, openness, vulnerability, and a sense of wonder and awe at the mystery of the other person, creation, and the living God.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (n. 2332) teaches that sexuality affects all aspects of being human – most especially our affectivity and our capacity to enter into bonds of communion with others. In other words, those who are sexually healthy are emotionally mature. They are secure in relationships, receiving and giving love in a way that shows honor and delight to the other person. If I am struggling with insecurity, if I am less than free in how I show up in relationships, that is a symptom of my wounded sexuality. It reminds me that I have need of more integration – that I have need of maturing in my affectivity and thereby growing in chastity.