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From Insecurity to Security

Most people, I find (just like me) have an array of defenses to avoid looking truthfully at what is going on – because that requires actually feeling the insecurity and (even scarier) feeling our unmet longing for love. Mining the depths of our desire can feel especially dangerous. It’s so much easier to stay on the surface. That is a problem for us priests who have said “yes” to celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom! If we avoid the longings of our heart and the felt sensations in our nervous system and body, how can we be truly integrated? How can our self-gift be embodied, wholehearted, free, and fruitful?

Affective Maturity

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (n. 2332) teaches that sexuality affects all aspects of being human – most especially our affectivity and our capacity to enter into bonds of communion with others. In other words, those who are sexually healthy are emotionally mature. They are secure in relationships, receiving and giving love in a way that shows honor and delight to the other person. If I am struggling with insecurity, if I am less than free in how I show up in relationships, that is a symptom of my wounded sexuality. It reminds me that I have need of more integration – that I have need of maturing in my affectivity and thereby growing in chastity.

I Have a Story!

Those of you who know me better know that the last 7 years have been an odyssey of personal healing. It all started with an unexpected phone call on my 41st birthday. With my susceptibility to workaholism, my birthdays never tended to be different than other days. But this birthday […]